On Passing

This is not a personal blog. But it is a blog about nerdy culture as filtered through my own personal experience, and, as such, sometimes my real offline life intrudes. This is such an occasion.

I had originally planned to favor you today with another edition of Nerd News in Brief. There have been interesting developments of late concerning mc chris and Barack Obama, MC Lars and YTCracker, id obelus, and my pal Anthony just to name a few: things that are, at least to my reckoning, solidly newsworthy. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to write about these items at length at this time.

I was informed earlier this morning that my father has passed away. He and I weren't exactly what you call close, but he's my dad and I love him. A good bit of what I am today – both the bad and the good – is because of him. He instilled within me a love of music, a strong sense of self, and a penchant for profanity: the three pillars of projects like Hipster, please!

As I've stated, this isn't an ideal place for my personal emotional wallowings, so I'll simply leave it at that. Only to add that my planned vacation seems to've arrived prematurely and under less than ideal conditions.

Sincerest apologies to all those who have things in the works that I should rightly be promoting at present. I'll get back to the grind once I've had a chance to decompress, and you'll be at the top of the list.

That is to say I'll be back soon with more musings about geeky music, videogames, and Internet culture, and, in the meantime, don't worry too much about me. I'll get through.

Until then, stay well and be safe.

"'Cause we are not our parents, except that we are. So when you're losing what you're holding onto, you've got to let it go. You let it go. Oh, I know. And when I think about how much I didn't know before, it freaks me out to know how much I don't know now."

-- Uncle Monsterface, "Sparkle and Shine"

Stick it!

Remember those stickers I ordered for Nerdapalooza? Yeah, they finally showed up. (Fat fucking lot of good they do me now!)

At any rate, here they are in all their glory. I included my DS Lite in the picture to give you a sense of the dimensions of the decals themselves. And also because I was playing Final Fantasy Tactics A2 at the time.

I know a couple of my Nerdapalooza cohorts had called dibs and a number of loyal readers had requested some as well, but I can’t help but think I’m pretty much stuck with 100 bumper stickers and significantly less bumpers.

I suppose I could use them as the raw materials for a guerilla art project. Or, I reckon, I could fashion a crude but admittedly dapper wallet out of ‘em. The possibilities, as they say, are endless.

Nerdapalooza Wrap-up 2: The People That You Meet

I imagine that by now everyone is waiting for me to give my rundown of the performances at Nerdapalooza, and I plan to. Just not now.

I’m not trying to jerk anyone around or anything like that, there’s just another element that I feel needs to be addressed before I get into it. If you really want a sneak peak at my impressions of the musical element of the show, feel free to check out my recent post over at GeekDad. Actually, please check out that post anyway. It isn’t exactly burning up the charts and a couple extra page views couldn’t hurt.

I once had a friend tell me that he didn’t have to respect an artist to enjoy his music, but that it sure helped. I find steel in that statement. The attitude of a performer both on and off the stage can really make the difference between an average concert experience and the kind of affair that you talk reverently about for months thereafter.

I’ve stated before that one of the best things about moving in nerdy music circles is how genuinely nice everyone is, and my time at Nerdapalooza corroborated this statement. Never have I been in a room with so many individuals who so desperately wanted to get along with each other. Seriously. Nerds are, by nature, timid creatures, and that certainly came into play, but not once did I make an awkward first stab at conversation only to be giving the coldest of shoulders. Each interaction with a fellow fan or performer immediately turned into a truly friendly exchange.

There were a number of folks in attendance with whom I’d previously spoken, Frontalot and his crew being chief among them, and I found them even more relaxed, conversational, and congenial than previously anticipated. I never saw Front – who is, let’s not forget, a big fish in our pond – turn away an eager fan, interview request, or idle exchange. Both he and Blak Lotus were particularly friendly to me at the pre-event show at A Comic Shop, and keyboardist G Minor 7 talked to me for a delightful stretch before their set at Taste. (As an aside, Gaby has written some really interesting musicals that you totally need to check out.)

And the headliners on the other side were just as engaging. It was a thrill to finally hang out with Dan and Marty from Uncle Monsterface, as well as Monsterface himself, and I got the honest impression that they were just excited to talk to me. Justine from Math the Band has got to be one of the most instantly endearing people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, and the fact that frontman Kevin was still able (and willing) to speak after a set that can be understatedly described as intense is a credit to his agreeability and urge to reach out. Sadly, I didn’t get much chance to talk to the Potters, but Paul thanked me for promoting the band via my blogging efforts and signed my Ravenclaw prefect badge. (Don’t you fuckin’ judge me!)

Artists across the board were simply amazing to talk to. I spent literal hours of my weekend palling around with int eighty, DJ Snyder, and Myf, three cats whose music is as engaging as their personalities. Maja and ZeaLouS1, who arrived at the venue together Friday afternoon and spent their first 15 minutes there greeting a crowd of onlookers with smiles, hugs, and well wishes. Schaffer the Darklord, in an obvious attempt to slacken his reigns on the powers of ultimate darkness, took a personal photograph with what may well have been every person in attendance. Wordburglar, when not busy simple being a wholly debonair motherfucker, convinced the guys from A Comic Shop to give a copy of Watchmen to a lucky pair of fans. funky49 handed out party favors during his set; Whore Moans bopped up to perfect strangers to chat; Bootyrage Samurai offered to come on and hang out with me on a future ep. of RFH; MC Cool Whip took some great pictures on behalf of Ant and me (who had neglected to bring our own); the list goes on and on.

Some of my favorite times were had hanging out with the local FLA talent. I’d heard stories about how it was impossible to understand the power of the Florida nerdcore scene without experiencing it live, but that’s only partially true. Just as important as seeing them on-stage is interacting with them off. The Magitek family – and I call them a family because that’s exactly how they carry themselves - is a veritable fountain of positivity. Spork (who, along with EPP’s Sir-Up, was an unsung hero of the festival’s logistical burden) and the RPG crew were as much fun to watch as to hang out with. Masu from Krondor Krew treated me like a lifelong friend after all of about 2 minutes of talking to me, as did the group’s chief cheerleader Sangriaa. In fact, the upbeat energy of Sanny and ColonP (of Bushido Stylus) was the only thing keeping an exhausted Z. going during the event’s longest hours.

I could go on, but I believe you get the picture. Whether it was Hex and mCRT doting over each individual attendant like a hyper-nurturing pair of neighbors from some wacky sitcom or watching Dennis and Denika spread some design love to needy artists, Nerdapalooza was very much about making that personal connection with your fellow geeks. In the absence of that we attendees are left with what Anthony has termed Post-Nerdapalooza Depression. PND is a disorder marked by malaise, listlessness, and the feeling that you’ve just left your 300 closest friends behind. I’m just afraid it will take them a year to find a cure.

Nerdapalooza Wrap-up 1: All Apologies

I spent a good chunk of yesterday pouring over my notes from Nerdapalooza. There were a lot of them. As such, there was a large amount of, um, pouring.

I’ve got my write-up for GeekDad pretty well polished (it should go up sometime tomorrow), but it’s more about the big picture than a study of the tiny building blocks of nerdiness that made the event, at least in my humble opinion, such a total blast -- which is exactly the kind of stuff I’d like to get into here at Hipster, please! That being said, it’s gonna be a multi-post affair, probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 separate entries, and it could take me a couple of weeks to get all my thoughts sorted out.

But there are a few things I need to say before we get into the real meat of my ruminations on Nerdapalooza. You see, like any man I have a selfish need to be liked and accepted by my peers. You’d think being a huge dork for three decades would have dulled this silly reflex, but no such luck. Case in point: when I got home Sunday night, the first thing I did was prepare a mental list of all the people I had harassed and/or annoyed over the weekend. It’s true.

Like Kid in the Hall Bruce McCulloch, I am a shame-based man. Therefore it is in the interest of clearing my conscience that I would like to apologize to:

• The fine folks at A Comic Shop for not buying anything. By the same token, I didn’t steal anything either (although that plush Doop was tempting), so I reckon it’s not as bad as it could’ve been.
• Anyone who found themselves on the receiving end of an unwelcomed hug. I’m sort of a hugger.
• Anyone who wanted a hug but didn’t get one. I imagine you’re in the minority, but I will snuggle the hell out of you when next we meet.
• Anyone whose set I missed.
• Anyone whose set I partially missed because I was taking notes or fucking with that damn Flip camera.
• Ant and MisterB for never making it to the EPP house to do that tag team podcast. I am both an old man and a lightweight.
• Justin for this picture. Man, even this one is pretty bad. I’ll try to be more handsome next time.
• That handful of you that asked me to sign something and had to cope with that totally horrified look I gave you. I didn’t mean to offend; I was just sort of taken aback.
• Those poor headliners who had to sit through my wholly inept introductions. I don’t do well addressing crowds.
• Those who had to sit through my wholly inept second introduction of YTCracker after he’d already been properly introduced simply because there was some confusion re: the master set list earlier that day, and by the time it got cleared up YT and I both obviously didn’t want to seem disrespectful to each other by going back on our previous agreement.
• Anyone whose drink got spilled because of me. (I am looking at you, funky49.)
• Wordburglar, The Potters, and everyone else that I neglected to buy merch from even though I kept reminding myself to do so. I am sore ashamed.
  
• Anyone who was nice enough to introduce themselves to me only to have me turn around and ask them again who they were a scant 5 minutes later.
• Anyone who got locked into a laborious conversation with me at the bar with nowhere to run. (I am looking at you, G minor 7.)
• Anyone who had to put up with me running off in the middle of a very nice conversation because I needed to check out what was going on on-stage. (I am looking at you, pretty much everyone at the merch table.)
• My friends Uncle Monsterface for singing along with all the songs in their set. Generally bands eat that shit up, but the way I sing it’s better if I don’t participate.
• mCRT for sitting down for the whole of his “set.” It was only one closer song, but I was so exhausted that I could barely make it back to the stage 1 area before collapsing in a heap. (I blame Math the Band; they sapped what was left of my strength.)
• Anyone else who I annoyed, ignored, passed over, bumped into, trod on, or otherwise inconvenienced.
• But most importantly I have to apologize to Dennis and Denika for being a slothful and utterly useless houseguest.(Please buy lots of cool zombie crafts and amigurumi from them so they can afford to let me come down and mooch off of them next year too!)
  

And with that, I am absolved!

Right, guys?

Absolution?

Right?

Prelude

I've been back home for approximately 24 hours, and most of that has been spent in blissful convalescence. Sleep is obviously a rare and valuable commodity in Orlando.

I can only describe the Nerdapalooza experience as amazing. I saw dozens of my favorite acts and found almost as many more to add to the list. I met Wordburglar, a man who treats every fan and fellow performer like his new best friend. I hung out extensively with Myf, DJ Snyder, and int eighty, three cast who are as friendly, genuine, and engaging as they are talented. I talked community with Quartz Relic of Magitek, a crew that knows a thing or two about family and made me feel like a new addition. I drank with MisterB, a man who always roles high on Constitution checks. I could go on, but there'll be time for more elucidation later.

Rather than a "lost weekend," this may very well have been my found weekend. What I found were friends, comrades in arms. And fortunately I also found my way back to SC. Nerdapalooza was the place I fit in, but this is where I belong. I'll be writing much more about my experiences over the coming days, but right now I'm just enjoying the simple pleasures of my family life. I reckon I missed them even more than I realized.

The life of the roving nerd is rewarding, but not without its drawbacks.

File under time-wasters

It's my first day back at work since last Wednesday and I miss my kids. I miss my house. I miss my bathrobe and 1Up slippers.

How have I been coping with 8+ hours in my tiny, windowless office? By screwing around.

A link to this Scion Crest Generator came across the GeekDad group last week, and I'd been meaning to play with it. I was sort of an easy sell, as I'm a Scion owner, but some of y'all might dig it too.

This was the first crest I came up with. I'm thinking of using it as the wallpaper for a MoonShell skin I'm working on for my DS.

Wherein I beg for assistance

Dear Internet,

Please don’t revoke my geek card or anything, but I need your help. You see, the new firmware update for the EZFlashV, my DS slot 1 solution of choice, is now available and it includes auto DLDI patching for homebrew games. I love me some homebrew games and I’m really, really jazzed about the option of not having to patch the damn things manually.

Unfortunately, I’m currently using version 1.66, and the 1.7 kernel (AKA: the new hotness) includes the bootstrap loader updater that requires I follow some very specific instructions so as not to brick my card.

Said instructions are, sadly, less than clear. Observe:

Bootstrap loader upgrade instruction

Don't extract the EZ5SYS.BIN in the 1.68 package to your MicroSD root folder unless you already meet the condition 1 and 2

1. Your EZ5 cart must already updated to boot from EZ5SYS.bin. if you used the EZ5SYS.bin rename to EZ5UPLDR.bin update before. please update the smaller EZ5UPLDR.bin in the 1.68 package. the bootstrap loader update will not start unless the cart use the EZ5SYS.bin boot method.

2. Charge your DS power to full, connected with a charger will be better.

3. After you meet the above two conditions, extract the EZ5SYS.bin to your MicroSD root folder, put MicroSD into EZ5, EZ5 into DS, power up EZ5 as usual, the upgrade process will automatic start check the bootstrap loader version and upgrade. the process cost 3-5 seconds, Don't power off warning will displayed on the screen. power off DS while upgrade in the processing will cause your EZ5 cart bricked permanently. EZ5 will boot in desktop after upgrade. you can safe power off your DS now.

4. to verify the bootstrap loader version. just check the EZ5 boot menu by boot up EZ5 while R key pressed.
Black BG and big white font means older version, deepblue BG and small white font means new version.

5. Upgrade prcess only show one time, once you upgraded sucessful, it never show up again. please use 1.68 kernel as usual. even rename it and flash it to chip will be ok.

Since I don’t speak English as a second language as a second language, that all seems a little opaque to me. Anyone care to explain ‘em to poor little clueless me?

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

On the passing of Gary Gygax

For those of you who haven’t caught wind of the recent news, Ernest Gary Gygax – co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons and a pioneer of tabletop roleplaying – has passed.

Even now, Gary is being memorialized by our geeky peers in a manner befitting a gentleman of his standing. I’m sure there’s little I can say that hasn’t already been covered by those more astute and well-spoken than I, but I don’t reckon I’ll let that stop me. I can't imagine many of us who are active participants in the geekier side of popular culture would be doing what we do if not for Gary, particularly those of us who fancy ourselves writers.

The worlds he helped to forge provided many of us a canvas upon which to paint idealized versions of our flawed and corruptible selves. Around that table we weren’t lonely and awkward kids; we were paladins, warriors, and rogues. We found ourselves transformed from a motley crew of neighborhood chums to a party of daring adventurers.

His game gave us a voice. It gave us a realm of wonder and fantasy to explore with our friends. Goblins to slay and treasure to discover. It rewarded our creativity and helped to foster our ingenuity. Moreover, it provided us a mechanism through which to tell our own stories.

In truth, it wasn’t until I discovered D&D (and, yes, a number of other similar games) that I ever felt I had tales worth telling, that I ever felt that I was a part of that grand tradition of southern storytellers. My now infamous and much mocked tattoo isn’t just about embracing my dorky nature, it’s about acknowledging the reason that I began to write. And now it’s about memorializing yet another in a long succession of fallen heroes.

Gygax was just a man, as small and flawed as any of us, but he helped a generation embrace storytelling and nerdy camaraderie as an active pastime. He helped an innumerable number of misfit kids find brotherhood with paper and dice. He will be missed, but his legacy lives on.

For we are that legacy.

The Age-Old Question

On one of the mildly temperate afternoons last weekend, I took Li’l X. to a local park. He’s three; parks are kind of his thing.

After scoping out the nature trail and feeding some fairly cantankerous ducks at the lake, X. took to the playground and I settled on a nearby bench. I am thirty-two; benches are kind of my thing.

Park benches, for those of you not in the know, are like parking lots for fathers. They’re usually pretty crowded so you just try and find a vacancy that will accommodate your specific footprint and wedge in. I was lucky enough to find myself seated with a little extra breathing room. That is, with only one other wayward dad next to me.

He and I exchanged pleasantries and enjoyed the relative silence that a wide open space can provide. After a bit we talked tersely about our relative children and their activities, until, at last, the conversation turned to that question that grown men feel compelled ask each other in casual situations.

“So, what do you do?”

I replied with my standard answer, noting that I do some light IT work at a college but that I am a writer. As if on cue he asked what kind of writer, and talked turned to the blog. (It’s my biggest project and the one that takes up most of my free time, ere go it tends to get the most face time.)

This, of course, required further elucidation, particularly with regard to my musical interests.

“What, exactly, is ‘nerd music.’”

I replied that nerd music is an extension and, in some cases, a celebration of the geekier side of popular culture. This placated him and soon we collected out rugrats and parted ways.

It wasn’t until I got home that night that I really started thinking about my answer. After some contemplation I found it to be totally inadequate.

Not inaccurate, mind you, but fairly insufficient.

What I should’ve said goes a little something like this:

Nerdy music is many things to many people. Or, more specifically, it is what you need it to be.

Within the framework of the greater culture, nerdy music can take a myriad of forms, from hip-hop to punk rock to smooth jazz to chirpy electronica. Each of these styles may lyrically center on anything from video games to television and movies to personal, slice-of-life recollections to wholly romantic declarations to nothing in particular.

Its artists are doctors and dropouts, saints and criminals of all ages and colors and persuasions, and their instruments are computers, Gameboys, guitars, accordions, microphones, and turntables.

They are classically trained and ruthlessly amateurish. They are world-renowned and complete unknowns. They are performers and wallflowers. They are totally serious and just fuckin’ around.

Their songs are benign and malevolent. Accessible and oblique. Proudly dorky and subversively vague.

But most importantly, nerd music is functional.

Whether you want to let your geek flag fly or simply mock your dorkier predilections, it entertains your fancies. Like all art, it invites you to make of it what you will. It permits you to bend it to your desires.

It’s just like any other music, except for the fact that it’s ours. Whoever we decide to be.

I reckon that’s one way to clear a park bench. ;)

Childe Roland to the Dork Shower Came

I am involved in what you might term a mixed marriage. I am a huge dork. My wife? Not so much.

Because of this we don’t see eye-to-eye on some things. I, for example, like to watch Doctor Who. She, on the other hand, prefers The Girls Next Door. (How that show can make naked women so interminably boring is both a mystery and an affront to God!) I listen to NESkimos while she prefers Nelly Furtado. I say tomato and she… well, she also says tomato, but I reckon you get the idea.

When she told me last week that the girls from work were throwing her a baby shower in anticipation of our new arrival, I was ecstatic; my love for free shit knows no bounds. But when we began adding items to our baby registry/wish list, our differences again became apparent.

What follows is my own personal list of nerdy baby shower presents. Each was summarily vetoed by my old lady, but maybe yours will be a bit more reasonable.

Here’s hoping you have better luck geeking your children up than I did!


The D&D character sheet onesie:

Sometimes you just need to know your kid’s stats. Like, maybe your baby wants to make an untrained skill check; how the hell else are you gonna know her ability modifier? I think I’ve proven my point.


Available at Jinx.

Baby’s First Mythos:

Reading to your children is fun and rewarding, so why not start them early on the road to an appreciation of classic geek lit? It's been proven to supplement cognitive development, and you’re never too young to be warned about the power of the Elder Sign.


Available at Amazon

Giant Microbes:

There’s been a big push of late to get girls interested in science, and there’s no better way to get your daughter hipped to the wonders of the natural world than by giving her a white blood cell plushie. Will it protect her from super-sized pathogens? It certainly couldn’t hurt!


Available at Giant Microbes

Rockabye Baby! lullaby albums:

Child-friendly covers of U2, Bob Marley, and The Ramones may not be nerdy, but they certainly are fun for the whole family. Lullaby renditions of Björk, though, are probably still pitchy and annoying.


Available at Rockabye Baby Music

Diaper bag alternative:

Those goddamn Juicy Couture diaper bags are horrible and unflattering, and I don’t just mean on the shoulders of unwitting fathers. They’re garish and quasi-functional at best. I much prefer the utilitarian messenger bag, of which this Bag of Holding is a perfect example. You won’t believe how much stuff you can get in there!


Available at ThinkGeek

NErDy bib:

Nothing says “this is my kid and I’ll dress her how I damn well please” quite like this bib. It’s especially relevant if one or more parents is a chemist. As well as those of us who aren’t above a little intellectual intimidation among the play group.



Available at Career Giggles

Baby Bot mobile:

Are you as sick or butterflies and jungle animals as I am? Then why not shake things up with a robot themed nursery! This robot-themed mobile is an excellent jumping-off point.




Available at Baby-Wise

The Long, Slow Crawl

I’m not sure if this is worthy of its own post, or even newsworthy at all within the broader sense, but I figured I’d throw it out there.

As I’ve already mentioned, a couple of weeks back I was invited on Wired’s Geekdad podcast as a special guest. The Geekdads are a great bunch of guys who manage to make the dudes-sitting-around-rapping-about-stuff method of podcasting both topical and sort of therapeutic. The life of a geeky dad is often a fairly solitary existence, so getting the opportunity to talk pop-shop with likeminded individuals is a treat.

It was a great experience, and I think it really helped me put into perspective the astoundingly wide array of attitudes and topics that exist under the umbrella of nerd culture. It was, in short, enjoyable for me both as geek and as a father.

Shortly thereafter, I again spoke to Editor Ken Denmead to thank him for the opportunity. As warm and accepting as the crew had been to me, this idle pleasantry felt altogether necessary. Ken responded in kind and then invited me to come onboard as a contributing writer to the Geekdad blog.

It’s not, as we in the South like to call it, a payin’ gig, but it’s an opportunity to get more exposure for my dorky ventures and, in turn, for those that these foolhardy schemes promote. I can’t see it really changing the way I do things around here, as the Z. from Hipster, please! will still be the same foul-mouthed, malcontent that you’ve come to love accept expect; it will just provide me with a chance to do a bit of writing with a more paternal slant.

Will it open up doors for me to go on to become the for-real writer that I’ve always longed to be? Probably not, but I don’t reckon it could hurt.

I know the relationship between Wired magazine and nerdy music has been fairly rocky and that I’ve probably cracked more jokes at Wired’s expense than most, but I’ve softened my stance, particularly since Jason Tanz came on as Senior Editor. Having the opportunity to interact with folks like Ken and Geekdad contributor Brian Little has given me further pause to reflect, and there really are some good guys over at Wired.

This could be another inroad in my crawl toward legitimacy, and, even if it's not, it's still fun. Let's not forget that this is even more important.

New ink and hard-boiled detectives

So inspired was I by today’s release of The Adventure’s of Beef Thompson: Private Dick – an album, coincidentally, that I helped name – that I celebrated the event by getting a tattoo.

Okay, that’s actually bullshit. I mean TAoBT:PD did drop today and I did get this snazzy D20 tat, but these events were linked by nothing more than the silver strings of coincidence.

Still, many delightful occurrences did conspire to make this day a perfect storm of geeky goodness, and for that I must thank the many fine people who contributed.

Heartfelt thanks to my friend Denika for putting together the original flash for me.

Sincerest appreciation also goes to Hans, a gentleman that is, in my opinion, easily one of the finest and most talented tattoo artists in The Queen City. (He is also likely Charlotte’s tattoo artist that most resembles the cartoon incarnation of Ghostbuster Egon Spengler, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Much love goes out especially to my best friend Josh (A.K.A.: Seamonkey), for giving me the most kick-ass Christmas present ever.

And, of course, I gotta give a shout-out to my boy Beefy for providing the soundtrack to today’s festivities.

If you haven’t already, I’d suggest you download Beef’s latest release immediately. It’s a welcome addition to any collection.

I’d also suggest getting a bold, line-art tattoo that hearkens back to the golden age of tabletop roleplaying. But be forewarned: there is some mild discomfort involved.

Xmas miracle

Holy flurking schnit! Yesterday, Hipster, please! got a mention over at Tiny Nibbles for, oddly enough, namedropping Violet Blue in that day’s NNIB. Yes, I am well aware that me referencing Violet referencing me referencing her is kind of meta, but realizing that an actual writer is aware of my existence is easily the best Christmas present I received this year. (Although the slot 1 card my wife got me was pretty boss too.)

Here’s hoping that all of you had an excellent holiday as well!

Friends like these

I make no secret that Hipster, please! wouldn’t be possible without the help of a very important group of supporters. Unfortunately, the majority of these men and women live well outside what you’d generally term “driving distance.” So, while I interact with each of them regularly via digital means, I seldom get to see them in real life. Tonight, thankfully, I finally had a chance to meet up with a pair of these fine souls.

Dennis and Denika, that dynamic duo from Vagrant who’ve done so much for me in the way of art for the site and its projects and never asked for a bit of compensation, recently relocated to Orlando, and they just so happened to be heading to Charlotte, NC – my back yard – to visit family this weekend. They actually drove well out of their way to share dinner with me and my fam at one of our favorite dives… er, I mean fine (semi)Japanese eateries. Not only did they trek well into the wilds of upstate South Carolina just to break bread with the Z. clan, but they even picked up the check!

Overcome by the holiday spirit, they also favored each of us with a delightful, handmade gift. My wife, Em, received a beautiful scarf and I added a custom-made ZeaLouS1 zombie to my growing collection of arcane and macabre plushies. Denika even spent her entire drive up here creating a special toy for Li’l X., an adorable robot that I have dubbed the Cuddletron 4000. (He’s the first automaton powered by love, and yes, I am aware that he bears a striking resemblance to the robot – I call him Geekotron 1337 – that Denika included in my new logo image.) And for all their trouble they received from me… a mixtape. Yeah. Pretty underwhelming. I know.

The Internet very often brings out the worst in people. It allows just enough anonymity for douchebaggery to run rampant. And yet, somehow, talented, interesting, genuinely nice people seem to convene here at Hipster, please! More than anything else I may have accomplished through my various hair-brained ventures, this is the thing I’m the most proud of; I’ve managed to carve out a tiny niche in which a few truly great people share their outlooks and ideas and talents.

I reckon I can sum the breadth of this post up in one simple declaration: Christmas is a time for friends, and mine are pretty kick-ass.

Also, Cuddletron 4000 needs your hugs. They are his food.

Of site redesigns, podcasts, and kids

Last year around this time, I began posting about the kinds of things I’d like to see from the nerd music community in 2007. Without dwelling too much on whether or not my exercise in wishful thinking and prognostication was effective, today I’d simply like to use that as more of a jumping-off point. Last time around, I spent many-a word enumerating what I’d like to see from you in the coming year, but today I’d like to tell you a bit of what you can expect from me both in the waning weeks of ’07 and in the early months of ’08.

First and foremost, you can expect a site redesign. Assuming you’re reading this yourself – as opposed to, say, someone relating it to you via telephone – you’ve already noticed that things look a bit different. As, Hipster, please! has pretty much looked the same from its inception, I felt it was time to switch shit up a bit. The new layout boasts not only a new color scheme and a swanky new logo courtesy of my friend Denika, but also some bells and whistles. I’ve dropped an abridged version of the feed for RFH right into the sidebar, and I’ve also enabled Digg buttons for each individual post. (That’s not to say I’m gonna beg you to subscribe to the podcast or Digg what you read here, but the options are there should you feel so moved.)

Unfortunately, this changeover hasn’t been without its hiccups. My grand new logo, for example, seems to want to display 25% smaller than it should despite my best efforts to rectify that, and the Sites and Sounds links are, as always, in constant flux. I reckon what I’m saying is this is a work in progress. Don’t freak out too much if things change from day to day for the next few weeks, and feel free to hit me up with any suggestions.

On the subject of the podcast, you’ll notice that the full back catalog of Radio Free Hipster episodes is now available through the feed. Well, except for episode 12, but even that elusive bastard has been recovered (Thanks, Church!), and it should be in there tomorrow. Let me warn you, though, that the first few eps are dreadful, production-wise, but most of you old schoolers doubtlessly remember that.

Concerning more tangible issues, you should get two more podcasts this year. The holiday-themed ep will, hopefully, be up tomorrow, and the year-end wrap-up should drop shortly thereafter. I’ve also got another feature interview and a final set of album impressions that should trickle out this December as well.

Next year – probably around late February – I’m hoping to drop a second Hipster, please! compilation. This one will be vastly different than the last, and, though I can’t divulge all my secrets, I will make it a point to leak the occasional nugget of info as the release draws nigh.

I’m hoping this comp will really blow folks away, as I anticipate a pretty sharp drop-off in my productivity come March. This is due to the pending arrival of a new baby in the Z. family. Yes, Li’l X. will have a baby sister, and Em and I will have another mouth to feed/arse to wipe. Truthfully, I’m pretty excited, despite the fact that my childrearing skills are rudimentary at best. I can’t fully anticipate how much this new bundle of joy will affect my writing schedule, but I suppose posts will be few and far-between for a while there, so be forewarned.

In the meantime, feel free to poke around the new digs. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge and don’t sweat putting your feet on the sofa. This will be the shape of HP for the foreseeable future, so it’s best if we all break it in as quick as possible. And if you hear any hammering, that’s just me trying to gussy the joint up a bit more.

Folk ewe

Though I make no bones about the fact that this is far from a personal blog, I do tend to wax poetic about the totally surreal experience of growing up in the rural south. With that in mind, I present you with this delightful slice of life.

While visiting my mother for Thanksgiving I saw this preposterous bit of graffiti on a stop sign in the old neighborhood. My little sister, who still lives on that same mill hill, was nice enough to snap a picture of it for me on her cell phone.

I can only assume the hillbilly hellraiser in question meant to scrawl the expletive “fuck” on the sign. Instead he wrote the significantly less offensive “folk,” which, I suppose, is a homophone if your accent is thick enough.

I weep for the American educational system.

Lortab and Gonzo journalism

It’s very important for me as a blogger not to have any original ideas. And since Tim from popular Web comic Ctrl+Alt+Del had his wisdom teeth removed last month, I thought it’d be a good idea if I did the same.

Okay, that’s bullshit. The truth is I’ve developed a fairly nasty infection due to a rogue wisdom tooth and, since the others are more than likely conspirators in this mutiny, I’ve elected to have ‘em all extracted at once. The procedure is scheduled for early tomorrow morning, and safe money says that this’ll be my last blog post for the week.

On the off chance that I do post something, odds are it’ll be a drug-addled rambling about how I am the living embodiment of Zolthar, pagan god of lawn furniture… or… y’know… Tommy Stinson. So I guess that’s something we can all look forward to.

In the meantime, please continue to share your thoughts on the most recent podcast, pass on info concerning any nerdy happenings I might’ve missed, and feel free to lavish me with extravagant get-well gifts.

Y’all wish me luck.

More Nerd News in Brief

I haven’t riffed on the news in a bit, so let me scratch that particular itch.

For those of you currently unaware, earlier this week Ohio State Representative Matthew Barrett inadvertently displayed a photo of a topless woman to the high school civics class to which he was delivering a presentation. It appears as though the memory stick that held his presentation materials also held a directory of porn. Barrett, of course, had no idea where the images came from as the USB drive in questions “was a gift.”

Lesson learned: never keep your work files and your spank bank in the same place.

• Drycleaning and/or animal husbandry: Don’t forget to tune in to ShoutCast tonight to hear from Shael Riley and Glenn Case. Start-time info and a direct link to the ‘cast can be found at The Grammar Club site. And, on a related note, it appears as though I was totally right concerning the band’s focus.
• Mega remix: DON VITO took advantage of those Mega Ran acapellas that were floating around by making his own remix of the track “Robot City.” Check it out and let DV know what you think.
• Where no man has gone before: The International Astronomic Union has elected to rename asteroid "1994 GT9" to 7307 Takei in honor of Hikaru Sulu. Please keep your gay jokes to yourself.
• Sweet home Chicago: Matt reports that the Wrock world is all aflutter over the news that 24 Wizard Rock bands have announced their involvement in Wrock Chicago. This uber-concert is planned for August 6th of next year as a part of the Terminus convention. The catch is that the roster will actually be 25 bands strong, with the final band being decided by a contest.
• New hotness: I’ve recently been informed by both Beefy and Ultraklystron that their new releases will be available soon. Ultraklystron states that all that Opensource Lyricist has been recorded and now he simply needs to “finalize the cover art, get the discs printed, get the covers printed and add it to [his] store.” Meanwhile, Beefy teases that Rolling Doubles is “closer and closer to being completed.” I was also afforded a sneak preview of a track from ZeaLouS1’s new disk, and – without giving too much away – I can attest that it’s exactly what I’ve been hoping for from the BOSSFIGHT camp.
• Silent yet supportive: In his continuing mission to help me waste time at work, Church has found a ninja social network. If anyone can find me a pirate social network… well, then I’ll be summarily impressed.
• i wants to die: Church also directed me to LOL Secretz, a blog that spoofs communal art project and laugh-a-minute anonymous confession site Post Secrets. It’s like a meme made love to Taxicab Confessions and this is their cock-eyed offspring.
• Heading for the hills: On a more personal note, the family Z. is heading for the mountains this weekend. As far as the wife and Li’l X. know, we’re simply going on vacation. Truthfully, I’m scouting out the area as a potential relocation point during the ensuing zombie holocaust. Word from Atlanta seems grim. Thankfully, there are teams of diligent individuals helping to spread the word. Shit, even the president, a man with whom I seldom find myself in agreement with, is hip to the jive.

Nerd News in Brief

I’m getting slow. Age is taking its toll. That’s the only reason I can think of to explain why both Matt and Church essentially lapped me reading Deathly Hallows. They’re both finished, and I’m still hanging around the half-way mark.

Sure, I didn’t actually start reading until late Saturday night. And, yeah, I did tear through 450-some-odd pages in a day and a half, and that’s not too shabby. But those fragile excuses are cold comfort at best; saving face simply isn’t an option.

So all I have is the age thing…

Even though technically both those cats are older than me…

You build with the bricks you’re given, people!

• Don’t Curse: The genius that brought us the Mega Ran project, Random himself, was just interviewed by the fine folks at Capcom. Ran talked about his music, his love of video games, and the plight of the American educator. Personally, I dig how he didn’t play down the lack of violence and profanity in his tracks… thus the Heavy D reference.
• Because I don’t bother artists enough on my on: Speaking of interviews, my brothers from GM4A have asked me to help them write a series of profiles of the artists on the finalized Nerdapalooza roster. Of course, I couldn’t think of anything more fun/nerdy to do than to tag team with my boys Anthony and Hex Warrior, so I was, as the kids are saying, “all up ins” this offer. What? The kids aren’t saying that? Shit.
• Better late than never: My girl MC Router has just dropped a new pair of cover songs, and, honestly, the only thing bad I have to say about them is that I’m a little bummed they didn’t surface early enough to be on Nerdcore Undercover. Check out her take on Uffie’s “Pop the Glock” and Retard-O-Bot’s “I Don’t Think You Really Mean It.” Good stuff.
• Ain’t too proud to beg: Okay, so here’s the deal: I’m currently looking for some kindhearted individual to do me a solid. John Allison, creator of my all-time favorite Web comic Scary Go Round, is gonna be at the Dumbrella booth at this year’s COMIC-CON, and I’m looking for someone to pick me up a t-shirt. I’ll totally give you the cash for the shirt and shipping – I ain’t tryin’ to screw you into lavishing me with free shit or nuthin’ – I’m just looking for someone to take a few minutes out of their con schedule to pick it up for me. Any takers?
• What it’s all aboot: Let me wrap up today’s news with a couple of pieces of footage from last week’s nerdcore debut on MTV Canada. They feature some Q&A with Dan, YT, and ‘Hella, as I’m sure you were expecting, as well as a brief history of nerdy rhymes by the great Jesse Dangerously. In verse, no less.

Crack is wack!

Okay, I realize this isn’t at all entertaining, enlightening, or pertinent, but I feel the need to bellyache a bit. Y’all’ll indulge me, right?

Anywho, in August of ’06 I was shocked to discover that my beloved Nintendo DS Lite – a system that I purchased on launch day despite the fact that I had a perfectly functional DS Fat – had a nice-sized crack in the left screen hinge. Now this defect is far from unheard of with this particular model and it certainly didn’t effect gameplay, but my OCD compelled me to have it repaired.

Apparently repair for such a minor cosmetic flaw proved to costly or labor intensive, so Nintendo simply replaced my system with another unit. No harm no foul, right?

Well, unfortunately I just noticed that my replacement system now has a hinge crack all its own. I called NOA and they agreed to ship me another pre-paid label so that I can swap this system out for another non-cracked version via one of their service centers. I’m just sort of wondering if I’m gonna have to swap this one out in a year as well.

It’s kinda hard to get pissy when I’m essentially receiving a new handheld for my trouble, but I must use the power of the Internet to ask the following question:

There are tons of DS Lite owners out there, and a good many of them have suffered the unkind fate of a hinge crack, but am I the only two-time loser? Anyone? Bueller?